10 Signs of Stay-at-Home Mom Burnout & How to Start Feeling Like Yourself Again

Are you overwhelmed and exhausted? Not feeling like yourself lately and looking for answers? Mom burnout is a real problem that many of us face at some point – here is how to recognize the signs and start feeling like yourself again.

I woke up the other morning and just knew it was going to be a hard day. I was just getting out of bed and was already feeling exhausted, irritable, and hopeless that the day would turn out well. I had barely even started interacting with my children that morning when I sensed myself mentally drained, emotionally depleted, and short of temper.

I wish I could say that I immediately turned my day around at the first signs of burnout, saving the day, and ending everything on a happy note. But that wouldn’t be the truth. I’m sad to say that I battled burnout all day long and only felt relief later that evening.

Burnout as a stay-at-home mom is a real experience that impacts many of us from time to time (or more often than we’d like to admit), and my own experience the other day prompted me to consider how to better recover from feeling so unlike myself. I hate feeling so overwhelmed that I can’t enjoy my children and their little quirks or feel confident in myself in my role as a mom. I knew I could have approached my moment of burnout more intentionally, and I imagine that there are others out there that may be feeling the same way.

If you’re a mom, and you’re wondering if you may be burnt out or you’re completely confident that you’re burnt out, this post is for you. Ladies, stay-at-home mom burnout does not have to be our norm. So let’s better understand what burnout is so that we can quickly recognize the signs and get back to feeling like ourselves.

What is Stay-at-Home Mom Burnout?

Although stay-at-home moms do not have a job outside of the home or financial reimbursement for their contribution to society, this does not mean that burnout does not impact them as it may for working moms. Being a stay-at-home mom by choice or by necessity is a full-time, overtime, little time off type of job that holds incredible value and is often accompanied by incredible amounts of stress.

As a stay-at-home mom, you are constantly on call which can quickly lead to a state of burnout. There are few breaks and minimal adult interactions (if any), and that takes a toll on the emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental health of a mom. You are always changing a diaper, helping with homework, wiping a butt, making a snack, handling discipline, monitoring screen time or outdoor play, cleaning up messes, reading stories, answering a million questions, giving hugs, and the list goes on and on and on.

Stay-at-home moms that are experiencing burnout often report feeling exhausted, constantly stressed or overwhelmed, disconnected from others which often includes their children, and not feeling like themselves anymore. Typically calm and gentle moms may notice uncharacteristic anger or rage for the first time. Every little noise or touch may seem to overstimulate. In addition, many moms may begin having thoughts about their inadequacies in their parental role as opposed to their strengths. For example, thoughts may include “I’m not doing a good enough job”, “My kids deserve better than me”, “I’m ruining my kids”, etc. Ever been there?

Unfortunately, our culture doesn’t help us in our fight against burnout. It is so easy to scroll through social media and compare ourselves to the other moms in our circle who seem to have it all together. You know what I’m talking about. The aesthetically appealing toddler snacks, the coolest sensory bins, the gentle parenting approaches, the cute picture of everyone hugging and laughing. I’m not saying that those things are bad in and of themselves, but I am saying that it is easy to see posts like that and measure ourselves up to the way other moms appear to be doing it. This can impact our thoughts of inefficiency even more.

Stay-at-home mom burnout is probably more common than people give it credit for, but if we don’t recognize it in ourselves and others, we won’t even know how to get help or offer support.

Although this list is not exhaustive and complete, it may be a good place to start in evaluating whether you are experiencing stay-at-home mom burnout or not. Once you know what you’re dealing with, you’ll be on your way to taking positive steps to combat it.

10 Signs of Stay-at-Home Mom Burnout

1. Extreme physical exhaustion or mental fatigue

2. A lack of joy as a mom

3. Feelings of never being good enough as a mom or in other capacities

4. Being short-tempered

5. Concerns that your child(ren) deserve better than what you can offer as a mom

6. Entertaining thoughts of escaping

7. Feeling disconnected or isolated from others

8. Experiencing uncharacteristic mom rage

9. A lack of energy in taking care of yourself

10. Feeling like everything is overwhelming

Not recognizing these signs can lead to bigger problems down the road. But what do we do when we realize we’re experiencing burnout? Here are some tips you can consider to begin feeling like yourself again.

How to Start Feeling Like Yourself Again?

1. Plan to Take Breaks from Parenting

There is nothing to be ashamed of in admitting you need a break from your role and responsibility as a parent. Taking a break doesn’t have to be something elaborate, but even just sitting outside on a nice day, reading a book at the library, or enjoying a moment at your favorite coffee shop can help you reset.

2. Make Time for Joyful Movement

It’s common in times of burnout to stop prioritizing personal healthy habits, but it is so helpful when moms choose to advocate for their own health even in small ways in the midst of high stress. Moving your body in a way that brings joy has many benefits, and one of them is an improvement in mental health. Taking a stroll outside, doing an at-home workout, or heading to the gym can help moms manage stress and burnout more effectively. 

3. Guard Yourself from Comparison

It is so easy to feel down especially when comparing yourself to other moms on social media. Although it’s good to stay connected to others and social media is a method of doing that, you have to remember that you are the one who decides which people influence you whether in real life or online. There’s no problem unfollowing or setting boundaries with people that only make you feel worse about yourself as a mom.

4. Explore Your Identity and Self-Worth Outside of Your Role as a Mom

Motherhood often feels like an all-consuming job that leads us to a place where we no longer recognize ourselves. Have you ever asked yourself “Who was I before becoming a mom?”…“What did I enjoy doing?”…“What are my unique gifts, talents, calling, and passions?”…If you haven’t asked yourself those questions in a while, it’s a good sign you need to re-explore who you are outside of being a mom. You are more than a mom, more than a wife, and more than any other role you may fill.

5. Make Self-Care a Daily Habit, Not Simply a Crisis Intervention

If you’re already experiencing burnout, then self-care may be something you start out of a place of crisis or desperation. That’s okay! But the goal is to continue incorporating self-care into your daily routine long after the burnout has subsided. A good way to decide what self-care habits are helpful for you, think about what specifically energizes you or gives you life.

Examples of self-care activities may include:

• Journaling
• Planning a weekly time to socialize with other adults
• Moving your body 
• Prioritizing quiet time for spiritual development
• Getting out in the sun
• Staying hydrated
• Reading a book for leisure
• Making time for a new hobby
• Following a realistic skincare routine

Self-care is not a one-size-fits-all thing, so it’s okay if your self-care habits look different than someone else’s. Remember…comparison is not the goal!

When to Seek Professional Help?

If you’re asking yourself the question, “Do I need to see a counselor for this?” the answer is probably “yes”. As a person with a master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling, I may be biased. But I believe that anyone could benefit from sitting down with a competent therapist to process past traumas, current troubles, identity issues, or anything that may be relevant for further growth and healing. If you’re already at a place where you feel hopeless that change is possible, it’s a good time to connect with a professional counselor and get the help you need.

Final Thoughts

If you’re a stay-at-home mom and feeling completely burnt out, I want you to know that you’re not alone and there’s hope for you. What you do is hard and constant work no matter how much of a blessing it is to be a mom. Give yourself grace for being human and know that burnout doesn’t have to be the norm if you can recognize the symptoms and take steps towards brighter days. And as always, if you need professional help, advocate for yourself and make the call. There is no shame in seeing a professional to help you as you walk out of the fog and into the light again.

Now that you’ve read some of my thoughts about stay-at-home mom burnout, I’d love to hear how you handle burnout when it comes!