How I Met My Husband
It was July 2018, and I had just pulled into the parking lot at Colorado Christian University in Lakewood, Colorado to begin my first day of residency as a graduate student. When I first applied for graduate school, I considered attending in-person classes at the Colorado Springs location. However, as a single mom to a year and a half year old, I decided that being an online student made the most sense so that I didn’t have to spend too many hours away from my little boy or miss bedtimes multiple times a week. With the support of my family and a call from the Lord to begin graduate school, I started my masters degree journey by attending an in-person weekend at the main CCU campus with other online students from around the country and world.
Having only been to the CCU campus once as a teenager (my sister toured the campus as a potential undergrad option) and not knowing where I was supposed to park for the residency weekend, I pulled into one of the parking lots and figured I needed to ask someone if it was okay that I was parked there.
As I was getting out of my car, I noticed a professional looking gentleman who had parked close to me get out of his vehicle and start walking towards the building. Because of his put-together appearance, I assumed he may be faculty and knowledgeable about the graduate school event. I’m not the most bold or extroverted person, but I found myself stopping the man by saying, “Excuse me, sir! Do you know if I’m allowed to park here?”. He said that he wasn’t sure because he was also there to attend the residency weekend, so we decided to walk into the building together since we both had to ask about where to park.
As we were walking in, we introduced ourselves to one another and asked questions like “Where are you from?” and “What do you do?”. I quickly learned that this gentleman lived in the Fountain area which was only 45 minutes from where I lived at the time which was interesting because with an online program, it’s very likely that people live in states outside of Colorado. When I told him what I did, I was completely truthful about being a stay-at-home single mom (thanks to the support of my family), and I remember noticing how this man wasn’t phased by me saying this at all. Being a single mom in my early to mid 20s, it often caught people off guard when I told them I had a child. It’s not what people expected, and guys in particular acted awkward when I would tell them I was a single parent. I never took offense at it. I didn’t expect people to want to be friends with or romantically pursue a single mom. It takes a special person to do that.
So it immediately stood out to me that this man I had just met walking through the CCU parking lot didn’t flinch, cut off the conversation, ask about my baby daddy situation, or act awkward once he knew I was a single mom. That was a pleasant surprise.
After asking the staff about where to park and getting that situated, we decided to sit in the cafeteria together for breakfast before our opening session started. I remember having a great conversation, and I was impressed with how this man was both open to sharing about himself and also able to listen attentively to me when I shared. He had great eye contact and did not seem to try to impress me in an arrogant way. This man came across confident and yet humble which is a rarity, and I truly enjoyed his company. I remember thinking to myself that if I ever got married again, I wanted a husband that made my brain come alive like this man I had just met. Once breakfast was over, we picked a table together for the main session and continued to get to know each other.
Because our degree was in clinical mental health counseling, our residency weekend included being assigned to role play rooms with a handful of other students and professors. It was interesting to discover that out of more than one hundred and fifty students, me and this new friend were assigned to the exact same room. So not only did we choose to sit together during main sessions, but we could walk to the same classroom together everyday for our role play breakouts.
Now, I’m not a flirtatious person and didn’t want to think anything of this new, intriguing man I had just met. I was literally about to travel to Oklahoma days after residency ended to finalize my divorce (another story for another time). So as much as I was really impressed with this classmate and enjoyed every interaction I had with him, I didn’t get my hopes up for anything more. I just told myself that we may end up being really great friends and colleagues down the road and nothing more. I didn’t want to believe that he was interested in me in any way other than as a fellow graduate school student.
But there did seem to be a mutual interest there although it was never flirtatious. A couple days into the weekend, I remember this man offering to buy me and some other ladies in the program our Starbucks drinks. He even paid attention to my favorite candy from a few options that were put in the middle of our main session tables, and he bought more from the store to share with everyone because he knew I liked it. When we joined other cohort members for a meal out, he ordered dessert to share with the table and treated us all so well. He didn’t exactly single me out, but I noticed how he tried to sit next to me and get MY favorite things even in group settings during those few days.
As our residency days came to a close, I don’t even think we exchanged phone numbers. Like I said earlier, I am not the most bold person out there, so I didn’t have the confidence to ask him for his contact info or if he’d like to continue getting to know each other . But I did find him on social media because it felt like a more casual, friend-type of thing to do just in case there was no interest beyond being grad school buddies. He mentioned maybe getting some Colorado Springs cohort members together once we got back home, so I figured we’d see each other again eventually if he followed through on that.
After returning home, I prepared for a trip to Oklahoma so that my son could have a visit with his biological dad and also for me to attend my final divorce hearing. I tried not to think much of my new college friend as I closed a hard and stressful chapter of my life, but he made a few comments on some of my social media stories which allowed us to stay somewhat connected while I was out of town. We talked about meeting at church together when I got back home because we learned that we both attended the same church at different times (and somehow never met). When I returned to town, I let him know that I was attending church for their Friday night service, and he met me there. Talking about it later, he thought he had somehow ruined his shot with me because (as a non-flirtatious or bold person), I made sure not to be clingy after service and ended up walking up to say hi to other friends instead of sticking around him primarily. I wasn’t 100% sure he was interested in me as more than a friend, so I didn’t want to seem too excited to see and talk to him. Later that night, I sent him a message saying that my family and I were also going to church on Sunday morning if he wanted to join us. He apparently saw this as his second chance and opportunity for redemption (not that he did anything wrong), and he agreed to come. As soon as service was done on Sunday, he turned to me and said with absolute clarity and confidence that he wanted to go out for coffee with me that week if I was available. I was impressed with how straight forward and specific he was, and I agreed to go but still tried not to think much of it. For all I knew, this was just getting together for coffee with a classmate. Once we decided on a day and time, he asked if I wanted to also get dinner because it was around that time of day. We ended up meeting for dinner and coffee in downtown Colorado Springs on August 15th.
We had a wonderful time together. He didn’t eat much because he was extremely nervous. But we had great conversations and walked to a coffee shop after dinner to continue our night. At the end of our time together, he was brave and straight forward enough to ask me about my relationship with my son’s biological dad. He mostly wanted to know whether or not I was divorced. I told him the truth about going to Oklahoma to finalize things knowing that it would probably be a deal breaker for him. Not only did I have a young child, but I hadn’t been divorced long at all when we first went out although I had been separated for over two years. I didn’t expect him to accept me and what I had been through. He could have easily ended it there without knowing my story or much about me. But he didn’t respond with rejection or judgement. Instead, he responded with relief and happiness that I was free to date! He immediately shared how he was feeling towards me and his intentions in getting to know me better. He talked about being very serious and intentional about who and how he dated and that he thought I was the type of person he was looking to get to know. He blessed and affirmed me with his words based on the little he knew about me. He called out the godliness and purity he saw in me, and this was beautiful in and of itself after all that I had walked through and all the horrible words spoken to me over the past few years. We started dating and were engaged four months later. We were married only five months after that and the rest is history.
Now we’ve been married for almost five years, and it’s been an absolute gift since the moment we met. We’re not perfect people, but we have so much peace, laughter, fun, mutual respect, and joy in our marriage. I have known what it is to endure abuse and a lack of loyalty, and that makes my marriage to my husband even more precious. He is kind, gentle, funny, dependable, faithful, godly, and just a treasure. I truly believe that God set us up at just the right place and at just the right time. In fact, as my husband Ethan was driving up to that first day of residency, he was praying that he’d meet someone that could be his future wife. As he said “amen” and walked out of his car, there I was getting his attention to ask him a question about parking. He still laughs about me calling him “sir”.
Do you have a sweet story about how you met your spouse? I’d love to hear about it!
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