The Gift of Sick Days
It’s that time of year again where germs are shared freely and generously, and my kids are down for the count once again. Minor cold symptoms turn into croup, every episode of Spidey and His Amazing Friends is watched on repeat in a steamy bathroom to soothe the barking coughs, classes and activities are canceled, boogers are sucked, medicine is forced down throats, screams are lifted up at the sight of yet another Kleenex. ‘Tis the season, fellow mamas!
My kids coming down with any kind of sickness is one of the quickest ways to stress me out and give me an attitude. I hate the anxiety that accompanies sick spells with little ones that have less than ideal immune systems. I hate the game of “Do we take him to the ER for this?”, Googling every symptom to properly diagnose and/or to discover any obscure at-home treatment option, buying yet another arsenal of medications and vitamins that are sure to help this time, and eventually taking a kid to urgent care or the ER only to be asked if I tried Tylenol or Ibuprofen (“No, almighty nurse with unfortunate people skills! I tried absolutely nothing because I’m sooooooo clueless and enjoy spending my time with my uncomfortable and exhausted toddler in the ER just so you can ask me such a profound question I never once considered on my own! Thanks, oh wise and powerful Oz!”). But seriously. Sickness can really suck, and no matter how hard we may try to prevent it with hand washing, not sharing drinks, taking regular showers or baths, changing out bedding and toothbrushes, etc., our kids are bound to catch something from time to time. Or ALL the time.
Thankfully, this is the first time the kids have caught something that has lasted more than a few days and has required us to stay home from regular activities. We have been through seasons of intense and long-term sickness in years past, and I am beyond grateful that this year has been so minor in comparison. But still. Sickness is not fun and can really make it hard to look on the bright side of things. What’s there to be happy about when the snot is everywhere, the nighttime coughs are panic-inducing, and everyone is cooped up together for days upon days?
In the past, I really struggled with gratitude on sick days. I just wanted it to be over so that we could get back to our routine, be relieved of my heightened anxiety, and move forward with our lives. But what I’ve come to realize is that sick days aren’t all bad. Sure. It’s not ideal, and people don’t feel their best. But the reality is, there are gifts to be found in the days of runny noses, uncovered coughs, and lower energy. Let me share with you what gifts I’ve been reflecting on during this past week of sickness.
1. The Gift of Staying Home
This can be one of the hard parts about sickness for a lot of people, including myself at times. It can be challenging to be cooped up inside and away from other people while recovering from being sick. But there is also a positive to be recognized here. Staying home means no rushed mornings trying to get everyone dressed, fed, and out the door in order to be across town in time for whatever activity is planned. It means no alarm clocks, extra sleep (if you have kids that like to sleep in), and jammies or sweatpants all day if you want! There’s an unhurriedness and return to simplicity that is hard to find in the day to day hustle and bustle of life. Being forced to stay home to rest can really be a gift if we allow it to be.
2. The Gift of Leisure and Creativity Time
When we’re forced to stay home for a few days to a few weeks or longer, it opens up time for activities that may otherwise be hard to fit in. Do you enjoy reading a good book? Well, now you have a little more time to read while your kids watch TV or get extra sleep. Do you like to paint, color in an adult coloring book, or draw? Now you may have the space in your schedule to invest time into expressing yourself artistically. Is there a movie you’ve been meaning to watch or a show you want to binge? Now that you’re home, you can! Maybe it’s just me, but when sickness is running through my home, I think less about work and tasks that can wait and more about how to rest and maintain peace. This is such a gift to me especially as someone who doesn’t always make the time for leisure and creative outlets during normal life.
3. The Gift of Quality Time
In years past, I always did my best to quarantine whoever was sick in order to reduce the possibility of everyone getting ill. That’s how I was raised, and I just assumed that would work well for my family. But what I’ve come to accept these past few months is that it is almost guaranteed that multiple people in the family will STILL get sick even with all my attempts at isolating the germs. Part of this is because of our living situation. As I write this post, my family of five lives in a two bedroom, one bathroom apartment with all three of my boys sharing a room. It’s super hard to quarantine one child in such a limiting space, so I have had to have a conversation with myself about the unrealistic expectations I’ve placed on my kids to remain separate from the rest of the family during sickness. They hate it and feel rejected. Most of us get sick anyways. It’s clearly pointless for us in this season of life! So instead, we’ve used sick days as an opportunity to connect in more intentional ways. The other night, my middle son was running a fever, so my husband and I kept him up until the medicine helped to break his fever. My husband rubbed his back while he slept for an hour or two, and when he started feeling better, he woke up ready to party. We had a late night snack time, he joined us for a movie, and we just laughed at how cute and funny he was acting! On another day, I spent some time playing Connect Four with my oldest son while his brothers napped which we don’t always get to do. And my husband and I tend to bond during sick spells because of the shared experience of caring for our kids and making decisions to help them recover. We’ve caught up on our various Bachelor shows (our guilty pleasure), had some meaningful conversations, and laughed through a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother. This has all been a gift due to being home sick!
4. The Gift of Refinement
Taking care of sick little ones while also being sick and/or exhausted opens up so much opportunity for personal growth and refinement. When you get married or become a mom, you no longer have the luxury to just think about your own health and well-being. In fact, there are many times when your well-being has to be pushed to the side temporarily while taking care of a needy member of your family. For example, sleep is necessary for optimal health and wellness, and yet, as parents, we often have to forgo adequate sleep while staying up with an ill child, waking up throughout the night to give another dose of medicine or a breathing treatment, or cleaning up vomit at any hour of the night (my least favorite activity). Although it can truly be a challenge to sacrifice our own comfort in order to make sure our families are okay, there is a gift in enduring through hardship. I often think of the passage in Romans 5:3-5 that says ” We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation (NLT).” I don’t know that I’m quite at the place of being able to rejoice when my kids come down with something, but I want to become someone who can fully appreciate the refining work of having to persevere through tough times because perseverance will result in the development of my character and the growing of my hope. That sounds like a gift to me!
5. The Gift of Grace
As a mom, I can tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to do things with the utmost excellence all. the. time. Do I actually live up to my own high expectations? Rarely! But the constant desire to be a good mom is still there, and it feels like self-inflicted pressure a lot of the time. I don’t want my kids to watch too much TV, so I have to deal with more sibling squabbles, re-directions, and their desire for me to be their main source of entertainment. I want my kids to eat a variety of nutrients, so I have to spend time planning, preparing, and presenting food to my kids that they oftentimes reject as if I’m feeding them the scrum off of a trashcan. I’m a homeschooling mom and don’t want to get behind, so I stick to the plan and track our lesson work even if it’s been a long day already and nobody is completely happy. To put it more simply, in my effort to be a good mom, I often choose the not-so-convenient-or-easy-path to raise my kids, not because I have to, but because I want to parent with acknowledgment of our family values and what’s best for our individual kids’ needs. But when sickness hits our home, I somehow find it easier to extend myself grace when I let some things go. I don’t shame myself about letting my kids watch TV hour after hour. They’re calmer, happier, and probably making great memories, and I’m able to just focus on the most important things. I don’t feel bad if we actually use our allotted sick days in our home school instead of putting pressure on myself and my son to push through no matter what. I don’t focus on making foods my kids won’t eat because their appetites change when they’re not feeling as great. I just have so much more grace for myself when sickness strikes, and it’s such a great reminder that even in the midst of routine and busier seasons, I can still give myself grace to be good enough instead of the epitome of excellence. What a gift that is to us as mamas!
To Wrap Up...
I know it can be difficult to maintain a positive attitude when sickness strikes. I have definitely been the QUEEN of negativity in the past when my kids come down with yet another cold or mystery sickness. But by leaning into the refining work of endurance through hard times, I have learned to recognize the many gifts that sick days can bring. I get to stay home and rest, I can better allow myself to indulge in leisure and creative outlets, I get to enjoy quality time with my husband and children, I have the opportunity participate in further developing my character, and I get to be reminded of the grace I can extend to myself as a mom that’s doing her very best. I hope this list of gifts helps you to be able to recognize the blessings of sick days in your own homes. I know it’s hard to see your little ones sick or to be sick yourself. But there are always things to be grateful for even in the midst of the most challenging seasons.
I’d love to hear any of your reflections down in the comments!
*Does anyone else love the little quotes attached to their tea bags? I just love them, and this one is so incredibly beautiful! Also, in case you were curious, this is what’s in my cup!
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